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 The Phantom of the Racetrack 
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Minion
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Joined: January 2nd, 2013, 3:25 am
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((This was a fiction I came up with to go with the "Phantom of the Racetrack" character I created for the Fan Characters topic. Needless to say, the character concept snowballed quite a bit which lead to this point.

It may seem a bit rushed, but I wanted to have this finished by Valentine's Day. You may notices some similarities to the story that inspired the character, "The Phantom of the Opera" (which I have been watching a lot of recently). Also, I do unmask The Phantom at the end.

Anyway, happy Valentine's Day, and hope you enjoy the story.))



Somewhere, in the dark catacombs constructed under the Cerci Speedway, it is said that a phantom lives there. A man who has no face, or at least not one that has ever been seen. He wears a mask of silver, and his voice distorted. Few have ever seen this so called “Phantom of the Racetrack” up close before.

But there is one who has been close to him…



Malya woke up with a start. As she tried to get up, she notices her injuries. Strangely, someone has treated them. It takes her a moment to recall what had transpired before…

“The last thing I remember…” she says to herself, “That’s right. I was ambushed by the Black Diamond. I was caught off guard without my relic, and…”

Malya struggles to remember what happened. She was alone, save for Mr. Tomn, and she was attacked by a few Black Dragons and a Diamondback. She remembers being struck on the head by one of them, and some dark shadow attacking them as she lost conciseness.

“I see you’re awake.” says Mr. Tomn, “Nice to see you’re well again.”


“How long was I out..?” says Malya, “And… where are we?”

It was at that point Malya noticed her surroundings. She was lying on a soft bed with crimson sheets. To her right, a table with a first aid kit, recently used, obviously to treat her injuries. To her left, a velvet pillow, which Mr. Tomn was lying on moments ago. The walls were made of dark stones, and a single door in front of her.

“I don’t know.” says Mr. Tomn, “I saw the Black Dragon knock you out, but I was hit from behind too. I don’t know where we are, or how long we’ve been here.”

“What about that shadow?” says Malya, “I thought I saw something attacking them.”

“I don’t recall that.” says Mr. Tomn.


Just then, something could be heard coming from beyond the door. The sound of a violin playing. Malya gets up from the bed, and walks towards the door. She reaches for the doorknob.

“Malya,” says Mr. Tomn, “are you sure about this? We don’t know what’s out there.”

“We can’t stay here forever.” says Malya, “Let’s go.”


Malya opened the door, which lead into a long, dark hallway. The walls were made of the same stones as the room she was just in, and was lit by numerous electrical candles. It almost felt like she was in some dark dungeon. She walked into the hallway, and followed the sound of the violin, with Mr. Tomn following close behind. They eventually found themselves at another door. Malya hesitated for a moment. She had no idea what would be behind that door. She was unarmed, recovering from injuries, and was in a place she has no prior knowledge of. Not the best situation to be in. But, with no other option open to her, she opened the door.

Inside, she found herself in what looked like a large music room. On the far wall was an organ style piano. To the left was an enclosed room. To the right, a large bookcase.


And in the room’s center, standing next to a table, a figure clad in black, playing a violin. As soon as Malya stepped into the room however, the mysterious figure stops. He turned to the door, revealing his silver mask.

“Did you rest well my dear?” he says. His voice obviously masked electronically. “You took quite the blow to the head. If I had not arrived, who knows what they would have done to you.”


Malya knew the reports before, the rumors that have been spreading recently about the so called “Phantom”. It did not take her long to realize that she was looking at the “Phantom of the Racetrack”.


“You’re the Phantom,” she says, “are you not?”

“If I am the Phantom,” he says, “it is because I must hide in these darkened recesses where none can find me.” He then places the violin upon a nearby table, and picked up a candelabrum.

“And why is it that you hide?” says Malya.

“Because the universe is an unkind place.” The Phantom says, “I am a hunted beast. A monster that hides in shadows, afraid of what he would become in cornered or captured.”

“And what that might be?” says Malya, curious as to The Phantom’s meaning.


The Phantom removed the plate over his mouth, the microphone still beside it. He walks up to Malya, and gave her a grin, revealing the elongated fangs in his mouth. Malya gasped in shock.

“I am… one of the Dhampir.” He says, “A product of the union between a human and a vampire. It may seem unusual, even strange, to think such creatures of the night still exist is such times. The Doctrine would study me. The Shattered Sword would slay me. The Black Diamond would find me turned into a weapon of their design. Because of this, I have many enemies, and few I could turn to. And yet, I still must reveal myself to the world. These conflicts that have arisen because of Darkspace is not something I can turn a blind eye to. Even now…”


Just then, a bat like creature flew up to the organ, and perched itself upon on of the pipes.


“Malya!” says Mr. Tomn, “That’s a Cypher!”

“Indeed it is.” says The Phantom, “Please allow me to introduce both of you to Eric.”

“I am charmed to meet you all.” says Eric.

“Wait…” says Malya, “Is that Cypher a girl?”

“So what if I am?” says Eric, “Eric can be a girl’s name.”

“More like Erica.” says Mr. Tomn.


“So you’re a Knight.” says Malya, “Just like me.”

“Indeed I am.” says The Phantom, “But, it matters little right now. All I care about right now is that you’re safe.”

“So you were worried about me?” says Malya.

“Why wouldn’t he?” says Mr. Tomn, “We both were recently attacked.”

“I was.” says The Phantom, “Do you find it strange that a monster such as I would worry about someone like you?”

“I’m sorry,” says Malya, “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean… you could have taken us to a hospital. But, you went out of your way to bring us to your home and personally take care of us. Not many would be willing to do that, especially you, from what you said about yourself.”

“If you were anyone else,” says The Phantom, “I might have just taken you to a hospital. But, you are more than that to me.”


“Wait… what?” says Malya, slightly puzzled.


“You are an angel to me.” says The Phantom, “My racetrack angel. Ever since I laid my eyes upon you, I was taken by your beauty, your determination, and your strong will. I cannot get you out of my thought. But, even so, I know that we cannot be together. Who can love a monster such as me?”

“I don’t see a monster.” says Malya, “A monster wouldn’t have saved me.” She placed her hand on his shoulder. “Please, you don’t have to hide from me. Show me your face.”


Just then, an alarm rang out. The Phantom rushed over to his organ, and pressed three keys on it, bringing up a monitor.

“It seems we have visitors.” he says, as he pressed switches by the monitor, switching between different views in the catacombs. The Phantom stopped when he noticed two people on the monitor.


“It’s Rin and Candy!” says Mr. Tomn.

“Blast it…” says The Phantom, “I thought I would have had you returned before they noticed you were gone. It seems our time is cut short.” He then pressed a switch, opening a door on the far side or the room. “Go to them, but do not lead them back to this sanctuary.”

“Come with me.” says Malya, “You’re not a bad person, as far as I can see. I could show them…”

“No…” says The Phantom, “Return to your world. I must remain in mine. I do love you, but that is why I must drive you away. A monster such as I would be a burden to you. Time is short. Go now.”


Malya was taken aback by what The Phantom had said to her. It was obvious he was being torn apart by this. But, she also remembered that Rin had said before she was intent on capturing The Phantom by any means necessary, being he has caused trouble for her before. Since she was in the catacombs right now, it might be in both her and The Phantom’s best interest that Rin be lead away from here. She headed to the door, with Mr. Tomn following close behind. Before leaving…


“Will I see you again?” she asks.

“Perhaps…” says The Phantom, “Although even if you don’t, I will see you again.”


Meanwhile…


Rin and Candy were exploring the darkened catacombs. Rin had her rifle ready for anything they would find.

“Tell me,” says Candy, “why are we down here again?”

“The Phantom is down here,” says Rin, “I know it.”

“Well,” says Candy, “if you think he’s down here, shouldn’t we have gotten Malya to come with us, or at least let me get Cola.”

Just then, they heard something down the tunnel. Rin raised her rifle.

“Hold on a moment!” says Candy, “We don’t know what’s down there!”

“Better safe than sorry.” says Rin.


Rin placed her finger near the trigger, ready to shoot at a moment’s notice. But, from the darkness, a familiar form appeared before them.


“Malya?!” says Rin as she lowered her rifle, “What are you doing here?!”

“You’re hurt!” says Candy, “What happened to you?”

“I was ambushed by the Black Diamond.” says Malya, “I… managed to escape down here.”

“Are they still here?” says Rin, “We’ve got your back if they are.”

“I think they gave up a while ago…” says Malya, “What are you two doing down here?”

“I found out about the catacombs after The Phantom’s last appearance.” says Rin, “I suspect that his lair is somewhere down here. If I had the time…”

“Who cares about that now!” says Candy, “We got to get Malya out of here.”

“Yeah…” says Malya, “I’ve had enough for one day.”


“I can’t believe they bought it…” Mr. Tomn thinks to himself.


The group then made their way out of the catacombs, but something didn’t sit right with Rin.

“If it was just her and Mr. Tomn down here,” she thought to herself, “where did she get the supplies to treat her injuries?”


The next day…


Malya was getting ready for another day. Just then, there was a knock on her door. Opening the door, a young man was standing there. His blond hair tied back under his hat, his eyes nearly covered with glasses, and his short sleeved uniform revealing his cybernetic arms. Malya recognized him as the head of her pit crew, Donavon.

“What are you doing here Donavon?” Malya asked him.

“M… Miss Malya,” says Donavon, “a package was left for you in the garage. I figured that I deliver it to you, especially since the note said to deliver it to you immediately.” He then handed her a box wrapped in black paper, with a red ribbon tied around it.

“This…” says Malya, “Did you see who brought it?”

“Sorry.” says Donavon, “It was just there when I came in. If you’ll excuse me, I need to head back to the garage.”


Shortly after Donavon left, Malya opened the box. Inside of it were a silver mask, and a card. The card read “A memento of our encounter. Be strong for me. ~The Phantom”.


Meanwhile, Donavon was heading back to the garage when all of a sudden he felt a Spotter’s rifle pressed against his back.

“Funny.” says Rin, “You didn’t go to the garage yet.”

“And what might you be getting at, Rin?” says Donavon.

“Mind telling me what you were doing in those catacombs today?” says Rin, “I went back there earlier, and saw you walking out of them. What is your connection with The Phantom?”

“Still going on about The Phantom?” says Donavon, “You need to…”

“Donavon…” says Rin, “I did confirm that there was a Black Diamond attack yesterday. The squad was attacked by The Phantom, weren’t they?”


“Again…” says Donavon, “What exactly are you getting at?”


“You know,” says Rin, “shortly after you joined the pit crew, The Phantom started to show itself. Wasn’t able to connect the dots at first, but I have been suspicious of you for some time now. After doing some digging, I managed to get some information on you. And, with what happened today, I think I know your little secret.”

“What kind of information?” says Donavon.

“You were raised by The Doctrine,” says Rin, “and left four years ago. That would explain some of The Phantom’s abilities. You’re The Phantom, aren’t you?”

“So what if I am?” says Donavon, “What do you plan to do?”


Rin lifted her rifle away from Donavon.

“Nothing.” says Rin.

“What..?” says Donavon.

“If you were someone else,” says Rin, “I’d bring you in. But, now that I know you’re The Phantom, and what you did for Malya yesterday, I had a change of heart. Besides, I think this also confirms another feeling I had about you.”


“That is..?” says Donavon.


“It doesn’t take my training as a Spotter to notice that you like her.” says Rin, “Don’t worry. I’m not going to tell her, or anyone else, that you’re The Phantom of the Racetrack. But, you should.”

“She deserves better than me.” says Donavon, “There is no way we can ever be together. The best I can do is be a protector from the shadows.”

“Donavon,” says Rin, “I don’t know why you feel like that, and quite frankly, I don’t really care. But if you like her, you need to be honest about it. Consider yourself off the hook for now, but I intend to have a long talk about this later.”


Rin then heads off. Donavon stood there for a moment, processing what happened.


“Dammit all.” he says, “Eric isn’t going to like this.”


The End… for now.


Last edited by eradose on February 25th, 2013, 9:00 am, edited 1 time in total.



February 14th, 2013, 8:12 am
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Denizen
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I like your story I figured this is where it was going when I read your character profiles. I think for recluse though he tells her a little fast that he loves her I would have expected it a little later in the story like he had saved her or helped her several times b4 he said anything about his feelings I would almost say that she should figure it out and ask him about it b4 he said anything.


February 16th, 2013, 7:22 pm
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Minion
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Pride365 wrote:
I like your story I figured this is where it was going when I read your character profiles. I think for recluse though he tells her a little fast that he loves her I would have expected it a little later in the story like he had saved her or helped her several times b4 he said anything about his feelings I would almost say that she should figure it out and ask him about it b4 he said anything.


Yeah, as I said, I felt like I rushed the story a bit trying to hit the Valentine's Day deadline (being my timezone is 6 hours behind the forum's default). Although I managed to give a basic idea about what The Phantom is like, if I had more time, I could have given more backstory, and maybe created several incidents from before (like why Rin was so fanatical trying to capture him earlier).


February 16th, 2013, 11:55 pm
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Denizen
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I wasn't trying to come off as saying anything bad about your story at all I am sorry if I did. I was just trying to give some feedback as writing is rewriting as the saying goes. I wasn't sure if you were planning on expanding the story or not or rewriting it at all and I really don't like it when people can't be bothered to say anything at all about stories I share so I try not to do the same thing. Again I am really sorry if I came off as saying this was bad in anyway.


February 17th, 2013, 12:00 am
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Minion
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Pride365 wrote:
I wasn't trying to come off as saying anything bad about your story at all I am sorry if I did. I was just trying to give some feedback as writing is rewriting as the saying goes. I wasn't sure if you were planning on expanding the story or not or rewriting it at all and I really don't like it when people can't be bothered to say anything at all about stories I share so I try not to do the same thing. Again I am really sorry if I came off as saying this was bad in anyway.


No you didn't. I just wanted to give more insight as to how I had visioned it and my own feelings on the project. I also planned a picture to go with it featuring The Phantom and Malya, but I never got it past sketching. Hopefully (after finishing the Relic Knights/Kingdom Death crossover picture of Alison) I should have some pictures of The Phantom and Donovan to give you an idea of what he looks like. So my work on this is far from over.


February 17th, 2013, 12:06 am
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Denizen
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Sounds good! And this is one of the best things about fan fiction is that is can go in any direction! The story I am working on totally goes in the opposite direction from yours.


February 17th, 2013, 12:09 am
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Minion
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Pride365 wrote:
Sounds good! And this is one of the best things about fan fiction is that is can go in any direction! The story I am working on totally goes in the opposite direction from yours.


Interesting. Like what I've seen so far.

I did have an idea of a story where he's forced to expose his identity to Mayla by crashing a arranged marriage she is being forced into. Nothing solid on it, but so far it's just an idea...

Given the Kamen Rider vibe I've been putting into his costume (as well as a few elements of Phantom of the Paradise), I sort of picked out a theme song for him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDTwIQjI0Tg

I'll post his rough sketch sometime soon.


February 21st, 2013, 7:32 am
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Denizen
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Sounds like a really cool story on your hands. I can't wait to see the sketch!


February 23rd, 2013, 5:15 pm
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Bottle Cap
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Thanks for sharing, its a really nicely done short.
There is one or too grammar issues but unlike my story's, they don't trip you up when reading.

Agan thanks for sharing.


February 25th, 2013, 8:34 am
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Minion
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Here's those sketches I promised...

Image
Here's the concept for "The Phantom". You can see a few nods to Kamen Rider (given he's a Cerci unit), but there's also a reference to Phantom of the Paradise with some of his mask and helmet design. You can also see a bit of a hint of his cybernetic arms. The ink job I did is a bit smudged, and may not turn out too well if I try to scan it. In fact, I'm not sure about a color scheme just yet.

Image
Here's a picture of Malya and "The Phantom". As you can see, it's still mostly in pencil, and although some of the concept is good, I may redo it so I can use new inking techniques to make it turn out cleaner, and not have the same problems as the last picture.

I'm still working on concepts for Donovan, and don't have anything solid yet. I'm also working on two more stories to go with this and expand a bit more of the existing story.


April 3rd, 2013, 4:40 am
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Denizen
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Looks good!


April 3rd, 2013, 8:14 am
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